Renewal Can Happen at Any Time

Hello everyone! It has been many months since my last entry. Life became hectic and crazy, thus I was no longer about to find the time to update this blog. But, I have recently come to the realization that I missed writing it. Soooo, I will try it again! There are many topics rolling around in my head, like the marbles my daughter plays with and leaves in the floor for to me slip on later. It is difficult to choose which one to start with, but at least I have plenty of entries in mind! Should I start with New Year's resolutions, my new obsession with cooking, the genesis of female body image, or false societal stereotypes? Hmmm.... Since I am a bit OCD, and feel that things need to be in order. I think I will start with the topic of renewal. It is the new year, so that is kind of the theme for everyone anyway. For some reason, though, my renewal began on December 1st instead of January 1st. Let's back up a bit...

In November, I returned to my parents' home for the Thanksgiving holiday. In years past, this day was full of excitement at the prospect of delving into my mom's mouth-watering sweet potato casserole and pumpkin cake. But, this year, it just felt like overkill. So much food, although delicious as always, seemed wasteful and simply too much for one meal. Don't get me wrong, I ate it! But, the next day, I felt bloated and gross. I was uncomfortable in my clothes and honestly, in my body.

To be honest, the past few years have been filled with adjustments. We moved to a new town, I started a new job, my daughter started school, we left our family and friends two hours away...you get the idea. Things changed significantly. In the midst of all of the change, I filled our nights and weekends with fun, fun, fun...concerts, day trips, movies, vacations, shopping trips, and lots and lots of food. I wanted to make our new home so much fun that she would not even notice what was left behind. I had the "you only live once" attitude (yes, I went there...YOLO). Unfortunately, that translated into about 30 pounds for me and some very bad eating habits for my little girl.

I kept putting off losing the weight, until Thanksgiving. I just felt horrible when I got home. I was so exhausted and in such a bad mood, that I wanted nothing more than to crawl up into a ball and hide. I realized that I had lost some of my confidence and I was thinking of myself as a "fat girl." I have always been referred to as "that tall girl" or a "big girl"-- a topic I will get to later on! But, I never really put myself into the fat corner, until recently. I have actually weighed more than I did at Thanksgiving, but for some reason, it just hit me. I have to get healthy! I am all my daughter has, and this is my chance to be a role model to her on how to eat healthy. It is not really about me, its about HER! I don't want her to struggle with her weight and her health when she is older.

So, now is the time. I am 34 and she is 6. On December 1, she and I embarked on a new lifestyle. We are going to make healthy choices and eat better until it becomes automatic. It is not about weight, it is about health and happiness. Feeling good each day, and enjoying our life together rather than being tired all of the time. That means....no more soda (though she has never drank a soda in her life), no sweet tea, no chips and cookies. That means....fruits, veggies, grilled chicken, fish, fewer carbs.  That means....riding bikes, playing basketball, doing Just Dance on the Wii, long walks, and being active. That means....not allowing our lives to revolve around food, not allowing "fun" to only be had when food is involved, and not allowing our weight and health to spiral out of control.

Over a month in, I have lost almost 9 pounds. I feel so much better! It has become easier for me to make healthier choices, and I don't really miss the junk food (although, Red Robin onion rings still sound phenomenal).  The person having a harder time with the change is her! This just shows me how right I was to introduce this change. Her habits have already become so ingrained that they are very difficult to erase. She still wants her sweet tea and mac 'n cheese, but the snacking has become much healthier. She knows why we are doing it and that she is not being punished. Plus, who doesn't want candy and ice cream when you are six!?! I allow these things in moderation, but overall, I feel like we are headed down a much better path to health in the long run.

So, as everyone else is making New Year's resolutions, we are just hitting our stride in the one we made December 1. We have a renewed sense of life and control over it. Basically, you don't have to wait for the new year to start a renewal in your life. Just do it when your body, mind, and soul tells you it's time!
Thanks for reading my crazy thoughts! Tata for now!

Helicopter Moms and Constant Complainers

Sorry it has been so long since I posted! Once a week seems to be much more feasible for me to accomplish a blog post than every day, so that is my new goal. There is simply not enough time in the day to get everything checked off my "to-do" list and find a few moments of peace and quiet to type something up. But, I hope that extra time between posts will help inspire me to write about more helpful topics. Today, I am inspired by the behavior some of the parents I have encountered as a teacher and as a parent of a kindergartner, namely Helicopter Moms and Constant Complainers.

As a high school teacher, I fully expect my students to be responsible for their own assignments. Yes, parents want grade updates and at times, conferences, but on a daily basis the students should be keeping up with their own due dates and earning their grades without assistance from parents. It is to the child's detriment for a parent to take care of absolutely everything for the child; college, career, and life in general will be a rude awakening.

For instance, I work with seniors through yearbook and newspaper at my school. We have a plethora of special features in both publications that are directed toward making senior year memorable. Whether it be creating senior tribute ads, gathering quotes and baby photos to accompany their last school portraits, or taking votes for Senior Superlatives, I am constantly working with this group of students. Most of these 17 and 18-year-old kids are great about turning in what is requested in a timely manner. But, there are a few who still live under the constant watch of Helicopter Moms. These are the kids who never meet the deadlines or do anything we request. It is their mothers who 'handle" every detail of their lives. The emails come from mom's email address, the calls to verify schedules come from mom, and not one of the students in this situation have ever had to do anything without the assistance of their constant maternal protector. To be quite honest, a 12th grader is no longer a child. They are either legally an adult, or will be very soon. I think it is time to let go and allow these kids to figure some things out on their own. I really hope I don't fall into this category in 12 years.

Now, let's rewind from the last year of public education to the first. This year is the first time my daughter has been in a "real" school. It has been an adjustment, but she and I have a routine that works for us. Since I am a teacher, she has always understood the importance of school and why it is necessary to go every day and to learn all she can from her teachers. Yes, she has learned to count past 100, to write sentences, and to (almost) read a book. But it is the social interaction that we have both experienced this school year that has provided the most beneficial lessons. She has had to witness some of her closest friends being bullied, which was a shock to her. My daughter is a very tender-hearted child. She has never been exposed to kids who were rude to each other, and it was difficult for her to understand why it was happening. I have tried to make her understand that sometimes people do not act the way we think they should, but we have to try to get along with everyone. As I try to embed this lesson into her impressionable little mind, I think of some of the parents I have encountered this year. I have been on all of the field trips with her class that allowed parents, I have attended all of her awards ceremonies, and I have even eaten cupcakes with the class at holiday parties. The same set of parents are always there; we exchange pleasantries and small talk, then we are on our way. Unfortunately, there are a few parents who want to corner me and use the opportunity to complain about everything: the school, the teacher, the time or date of an event....you name it, they will find a problem with it. After talking with these people, it was subtly revealed that they are upset because they do not have constant control of their child's life anymore. Thus, the Constant Complainers are the early version of the High School Helicopter Moms. I have realized that the best thing for me to do is keep my distance from the CCs. I don't want to become one of them, because even in kindergarten the constant enabling will eventually create lazy 12th graders! Tata for now!

Dealing with Exhaustion While Raising the Energizer Bunny!

If you have small children, then you have experienced the seemingly never-ending energy supply that is housed in the tiny bodies of our babies. They will play, sing, scream, and fight sleep until their last drop of energy is spent. Many times, the needle has been on the E of Mommy's energy tank for hours before her child succumbs to eventual weariness. When you are a single mom with no "back-up" for moments like this, you have to be creative and resourceful to make it through. Today has been one of those days for me.

Last night, I did not sleep as well as I had hoped, but I was up and at 'em bright and early this morning. I spread wonderful droplets of knowledge into the minds of my students, worked on looming deadlines, graded mountains of papers, and basically had a typical day at work. But as the afternoon waned, I found myself more and more drowsy. I knew I had five hours of homework, cooking, and entertaining to do with a five year old who was bouncing with excitement to tell me about her day at school.

As we drove home, I devised a plan to get through the hours between the school day's end and the 9:30 bedtime that seemed days away. Then I remembered that I had recorded the Grammy's from last night! Yes! My daughter LOVES music, and that was two hours of pure entertainment that would keep her little self smiling, dancing, and singing while I could make dinner, do some chores, and relax a bit. Perfect!

We came home and finished her homework and spelling words fairly quickly, ate our dinner of tacos, and discussed our day at school. Then, I turned on the Grammy's. She insisted that her baby dolls wanted to watch, too. So, we lined up a sofa full of stuffed animals and babies to start the show. She oohed and ahhed over Taylor Swift, talked about Carrie Underwood's dress, and talked about Hunter Hayes as if they were best friends (we saw him in concert earlier this year). All the while, I finished everything on my list and was able to relax in a semi-conscious open-eyed nap until I heard L.L. Cool J closing show. As I type this, I feel my eyelids starting to droop again but she is still busy telling her dolls about the circus and teaching them to juggle.

How does she sustain this level of energy 24/7? It seems that nature should have given mother's an extra dose of adrenaline that kicks in after we give birth and stays there "on demand" for the next eighteen years. Instead many of us feel zapped of that energy reserve after having a child, which is when we need it the most. Maybe that is why DVR was created! It is the savior of sleep-deprived single mothers everywhere. Now...two more hours...I wonder if I have an American Idol in queue! Let's hope so! Tata for now!

Cooking for Two: Chicken Nuggets and Mac N Cheese again???

Is it just my daughter, or do all kids only want to eat chicken and mac and cheese? It is difficult to cook healthy meals for just the two of us, mainly because of the time and expense involved. It seems like we waste more than we actually eat, because she will not eat leftovers.  I try to cook a few times a week. But, she is so disappointed if I don't serve chicken or mac and cheese with whatever I cook. It is a major concern for me, as a mother, because I just don't see that her diet has the nutrients necessary for her to be healthy...yet she is perfectly healthy. How is that possible? If my diet consisted of chicken nuggets, ketchup, cheese, and pasta three or more times a week, I think I would be miserable.

Recently, I have resorted to fibbing to her about what she is actually eating. Tonight, for instance, I made lasagna. That is an unfamiliar word to her, so I said "We are having a new kind of spaghetti! It has different noodles, but tastes the same." I thought my claim would be met with a doubtful smirk, but instead she actually tried it! She ate two plates of this "new spaghetti", before I told her it was lasagna. Now, if I could come up with a way to convince her that vegetables were a new kind of ice cream, we would be all set!

Since it is just the two of us, it is my diet that has started to suffer. She will not eat the healthy meals I would prefer, so I end up making easy stuff that I know she will eat. Sometimes I wonder if I would eat healthier if I lived alone, or if I would live on ham sandwiches and tuna. Probably the latter, because if I think cooking for two is not worth the effort, then cooking for one definitely wouldn't be.

I have looked up healthy, fun recipes to try this week. So, tomorrow we will be making fruit parfait as a dessert after our homemade chicken pot pie (note the chicken). Then Wednesday, we will do fruit kabobs with our turkey club sandwiches. Still, no vegetables in sight. I don't know how to get her to enjoy salads, home grown green beans, and corn on the cob like I do. Any ideas?

Anyway, its bath time; thus, I must return to mommy-dom. Tata for now!

Pick Your Battles

After spending three solid days cooped up in the house with my daughter, my patience was pretty worn. The ice storm that hit on Friday basically kept us from leaving our home Friday afternoon until mid-morning Monday. That is an extremely long period of time to spend in company of just one person. But, I truly believe that she is the only person on Earth that I could have done that with and not have flipped out. We had a great time together. We watched Disney movies and reruns of all of her favorite shows, we played with Barbies, and even had a swimsuit fashion show (with her as the only model). But, when Sunday night finally came and it was time for bed....the party was over.

Sleeping in her own bed has always been a problem for my girl. She is allowed to sleep with me on weekends, but weeknights she has to sleep in her own room. But after almost 72 hours straight without even being in a separate room than me, going to sleep alone was not on her list of things to do. Needless to say, it was a battle. For over an hour, she would play opossum, then "wake up" crying and whining. Honestly, my patience was worn thin, and I just needed a minute to take a shower. So....I caved! I know, I know, I need to "stick to my guns" but I was just completely out of energy and it wasn't worth the battle. I let her watch TV while I took a shower, then let her sleep with me. She was snoozing in two minutes flat.

There are days when I just need my space without her hooked to be like a leach, but last night was not worth it. You have to weigh the consequences of launching into a battle of wills with a five-year-old. Do I stay up half the night trying to get her to sleep alone, lose all of the time I had hoped to spend getting ready for work, and end up showering at midnight, just to prove the point that she needs to do what I say? Or do I let her sleep with me, go to sleep early enough to get rested for school, take my shower early, but still lose the time I needed to prepare for work? I have never been good at being the bad guy when it comes to things like this. Even when she was a baby, I could never just let her "cry it out" and that is probably why she is like she is now about sleep. But, if that is the worst thing I have done is a parent, it is not too bad, right?

This time my decision to chose my battles wisely absolutely worked out. We ended up with a three hour delay today! I got to cuddle with my baby girl before school this morning, and wake up to her trying to sing "Soft Kitty" to her stuffed pink kitten. I think about how quickly these five years have passed, and I wonder: Will she remember me as the strict mother who made her stick to the rules every night, or as the mom who would loosen up and break the rules sometimes? I hope it is the rule breaker mom, because I know I will remember my snuggle bug and her morning time giggles more vividly than all the nights I got to sleep alone. Tata for now!

Why Can't We Just Break Into Song?

I grew up watching Grease over and over, never giving the fact that the characters broke into perfectly choreographed musical numbers, out of the blue, a second thought. I just enjoyed looking at John Travolta, listening to the songs, and wishing I was Sandy. Maybe it was the fantasy of the whole thing...I would never be blonde, never be a cheerleader, or never belt out a song at the top of my lungs. Thus, I was content to live vicariously through the characters on screen. Now, I enjoy Glee for the same reasons. It seems like the characters always have the perfect song to go with the moment, to capture in lyrics what simple words cannot. Sometimes, I wish that it were socially acceptable for everyone to just break into song. I think it would add some comic relief and maybe even some pure entertainment to otherwise mundane tasks. I mean, can you imagine pushing the grocery cart down the cereal aisle, and someone bursting into a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" over the PA system. That would be so amazing! I would go to the grocery store every day, if that happened!

I guess what I am getting at, is that music makes us feel better. It lets us drown out the stress with catchy hooks of Katy Perry songs, cry our eyes out to Adele about "the one that got away", relive high school memories through Sheryl Crow, or wish we had a man like Bruno Mars. Either way, it is cathartic and we all need the release that music gives us. Don't you think our society would be so much more fun if we could sing our conversations? Kind of like the guy on American Idol who stutters when he talks, but sings like an angel.  I, for one, cannot carry a tune in a bucket. But, that doesn't stop me from belting it out while I am driving the car every morning. My daughter knows the drill...every morning we drive the fifteen minutes to school and we can get through at least three songs. Whether it is Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga, The Lumineers, Blake Shelton...or more often than not, Justin Beiber, she knows every word, and sings as loud as she can from the back seat. She doesn't judge me for my singing disability, and I don't judge her when she screws up the lyrics. We just enjoy the music and let it relax us for the day ahead. She hasn't developed that self-consciousness that many little girls suffer from, and I hope she doesn't. Maybe one day, she will be your weekly entertainment at the grocery store, or she may still be the one I sing along with every morning, just from the radio! Tata for now!

Demanding What You Deserve

Day Three:
So, technically it is day four, but I had zero time yesterday to blog! Sorry! But, I have plenty to say today to make up for it. Today's topic hit me while I was standing in line at Best Buy trying to pick up my laptop that was supposedly fixed. Just when the Geek Squad guy told me "you declined the estimate, so the laptop was not repaired" I thought, "you have to demand what you deserve." Cha-Ching there was my topic!
Ok, let me back up....a few weeks ago the screen on my laptop was shattered. I went to Best Buy, dropped it off to be repaired, and was assured that it would be shipped to my home in 8 to 10 days, at no cost to me.  Fast forward to two weeks later...no word from Best Buy, but an email with a tracking number from Geek Squad informed me that it was returned to the store and the repair was complete. Yet when I got there, no repair had occurred. So, I was pretty upset. Obviously. I depend heavily on my computer to do my many jobs, not the least of which is teaching an online course. Thus, I was very inconvenienced. The first "geek" was very rude and condescending to me. He spoke to me as if I couldn't understand what he was saying, simply because I am a woman with a little girl. He even asked me if my husband was around so he could explain it to him! Ha! That was the last straw for me, so I asked to speak to the original "geek" who had done the order. Thankfully, that guy was very helpful and admitted his mistake. He sent it back off, apologized profusely, and spoke to me in a very respectful manner. But, if I had not demanded to speak with the person who knew my case, then I would not have gotten the problem solved. Sometimes you just have to stand up for yourself and demand what you deserve.
As a single woman, I am constantly dealing with people who assume I am an idiot, or that something is wrong with me because I don't have a husband to "take care" of me. Well, I have learned that those people are the idiots, and I don't have to deal with them.  I can take care of myself and my daughter, without a man. Yes, I may need a helping hand at times, but in general I am just as capable as any one else. Thus, I have developed the ability to take up for myself, and to demand the same treatment that those of a different gender or situation may get automatically. If you don't look out for yourself, who will? If you don't demand what you deserve, who will? No one! So, take my advice and stand up for yourself. Trust me, it is the only way to get what you deserve!
I'm off to watch American Idol, because after the day I have had I think I deserve some mindless reality television, don't you? Tata for now!