Helicopter Moms and Constant Complainers

Sorry it has been so long since I posted! Once a week seems to be much more feasible for me to accomplish a blog post than every day, so that is my new goal. There is simply not enough time in the day to get everything checked off my "to-do" list and find a few moments of peace and quiet to type something up. But, I hope that extra time between posts will help inspire me to write about more helpful topics. Today, I am inspired by the behavior some of the parents I have encountered as a teacher and as a parent of a kindergartner, namely Helicopter Moms and Constant Complainers.

As a high school teacher, I fully expect my students to be responsible for their own assignments. Yes, parents want grade updates and at times, conferences, but on a daily basis the students should be keeping up with their own due dates and earning their grades without assistance from parents. It is to the child's detriment for a parent to take care of absolutely everything for the child; college, career, and life in general will be a rude awakening.

For instance, I work with seniors through yearbook and newspaper at my school. We have a plethora of special features in both publications that are directed toward making senior year memorable. Whether it be creating senior tribute ads, gathering quotes and baby photos to accompany their last school portraits, or taking votes for Senior Superlatives, I am constantly working with this group of students. Most of these 17 and 18-year-old kids are great about turning in what is requested in a timely manner. But, there are a few who still live under the constant watch of Helicopter Moms. These are the kids who never meet the deadlines or do anything we request. It is their mothers who 'handle" every detail of their lives. The emails come from mom's email address, the calls to verify schedules come from mom, and not one of the students in this situation have ever had to do anything without the assistance of their constant maternal protector. To be quite honest, a 12th grader is no longer a child. They are either legally an adult, or will be very soon. I think it is time to let go and allow these kids to figure some things out on their own. I really hope I don't fall into this category in 12 years.

Now, let's rewind from the last year of public education to the first. This year is the first time my daughter has been in a "real" school. It has been an adjustment, but she and I have a routine that works for us. Since I am a teacher, she has always understood the importance of school and why it is necessary to go every day and to learn all she can from her teachers. Yes, she has learned to count past 100, to write sentences, and to (almost) read a book. But it is the social interaction that we have both experienced this school year that has provided the most beneficial lessons. She has had to witness some of her closest friends being bullied, which was a shock to her. My daughter is a very tender-hearted child. She has never been exposed to kids who were rude to each other, and it was difficult for her to understand why it was happening. I have tried to make her understand that sometimes people do not act the way we think they should, but we have to try to get along with everyone. As I try to embed this lesson into her impressionable little mind, I think of some of the parents I have encountered this year. I have been on all of the field trips with her class that allowed parents, I have attended all of her awards ceremonies, and I have even eaten cupcakes with the class at holiday parties. The same set of parents are always there; we exchange pleasantries and small talk, then we are on our way. Unfortunately, there are a few parents who want to corner me and use the opportunity to complain about everything: the school, the teacher, the time or date of an event....you name it, they will find a problem with it. After talking with these people, it was subtly revealed that they are upset because they do not have constant control of their child's life anymore. Thus, the Constant Complainers are the early version of the High School Helicopter Moms. I have realized that the best thing for me to do is keep my distance from the CCs. I don't want to become one of them, because even in kindergarten the constant enabling will eventually create lazy 12th graders! Tata for now!

Dealing with Exhaustion While Raising the Energizer Bunny!

If you have small children, then you have experienced the seemingly never-ending energy supply that is housed in the tiny bodies of our babies. They will play, sing, scream, and fight sleep until their last drop of energy is spent. Many times, the needle has been on the E of Mommy's energy tank for hours before her child succumbs to eventual weariness. When you are a single mom with no "back-up" for moments like this, you have to be creative and resourceful to make it through. Today has been one of those days for me.

Last night, I did not sleep as well as I had hoped, but I was up and at 'em bright and early this morning. I spread wonderful droplets of knowledge into the minds of my students, worked on looming deadlines, graded mountains of papers, and basically had a typical day at work. But as the afternoon waned, I found myself more and more drowsy. I knew I had five hours of homework, cooking, and entertaining to do with a five year old who was bouncing with excitement to tell me about her day at school.

As we drove home, I devised a plan to get through the hours between the school day's end and the 9:30 bedtime that seemed days away. Then I remembered that I had recorded the Grammy's from last night! Yes! My daughter LOVES music, and that was two hours of pure entertainment that would keep her little self smiling, dancing, and singing while I could make dinner, do some chores, and relax a bit. Perfect!

We came home and finished her homework and spelling words fairly quickly, ate our dinner of tacos, and discussed our day at school. Then, I turned on the Grammy's. She insisted that her baby dolls wanted to watch, too. So, we lined up a sofa full of stuffed animals and babies to start the show. She oohed and ahhed over Taylor Swift, talked about Carrie Underwood's dress, and talked about Hunter Hayes as if they were best friends (we saw him in concert earlier this year). All the while, I finished everything on my list and was able to relax in a semi-conscious open-eyed nap until I heard L.L. Cool J closing show. As I type this, I feel my eyelids starting to droop again but she is still busy telling her dolls about the circus and teaching them to juggle.

How does she sustain this level of energy 24/7? It seems that nature should have given mother's an extra dose of adrenaline that kicks in after we give birth and stays there "on demand" for the next eighteen years. Instead many of us feel zapped of that energy reserve after having a child, which is when we need it the most. Maybe that is why DVR was created! It is the savior of sleep-deprived single mothers everywhere. Now...two more hours...I wonder if I have an American Idol in queue! Let's hope so! Tata for now!

Cooking for Two: Chicken Nuggets and Mac N Cheese again???

Is it just my daughter, or do all kids only want to eat chicken and mac and cheese? It is difficult to cook healthy meals for just the two of us, mainly because of the time and expense involved. It seems like we waste more than we actually eat, because she will not eat leftovers.  I try to cook a few times a week. But, she is so disappointed if I don't serve chicken or mac and cheese with whatever I cook. It is a major concern for me, as a mother, because I just don't see that her diet has the nutrients necessary for her to be healthy...yet she is perfectly healthy. How is that possible? If my diet consisted of chicken nuggets, ketchup, cheese, and pasta three or more times a week, I think I would be miserable.

Recently, I have resorted to fibbing to her about what she is actually eating. Tonight, for instance, I made lasagna. That is an unfamiliar word to her, so I said "We are having a new kind of spaghetti! It has different noodles, but tastes the same." I thought my claim would be met with a doubtful smirk, but instead she actually tried it! She ate two plates of this "new spaghetti", before I told her it was lasagna. Now, if I could come up with a way to convince her that vegetables were a new kind of ice cream, we would be all set!

Since it is just the two of us, it is my diet that has started to suffer. She will not eat the healthy meals I would prefer, so I end up making easy stuff that I know she will eat. Sometimes I wonder if I would eat healthier if I lived alone, or if I would live on ham sandwiches and tuna. Probably the latter, because if I think cooking for two is not worth the effort, then cooking for one definitely wouldn't be.

I have looked up healthy, fun recipes to try this week. So, tomorrow we will be making fruit parfait as a dessert after our homemade chicken pot pie (note the chicken). Then Wednesday, we will do fruit kabobs with our turkey club sandwiches. Still, no vegetables in sight. I don't know how to get her to enjoy salads, home grown green beans, and corn on the cob like I do. Any ideas?

Anyway, its bath time; thus, I must return to mommy-dom. Tata for now!