Helicopter Moms and Constant Complainers

Sorry it has been so long since I posted! Once a week seems to be much more feasible for me to accomplish a blog post than every day, so that is my new goal. There is simply not enough time in the day to get everything checked off my "to-do" list and find a few moments of peace and quiet to type something up. But, I hope that extra time between posts will help inspire me to write about more helpful topics. Today, I am inspired by the behavior some of the parents I have encountered as a teacher and as a parent of a kindergartner, namely Helicopter Moms and Constant Complainers.

As a high school teacher, I fully expect my students to be responsible for their own assignments. Yes, parents want grade updates and at times, conferences, but on a daily basis the students should be keeping up with their own due dates and earning their grades without assistance from parents. It is to the child's detriment for a parent to take care of absolutely everything for the child; college, career, and life in general will be a rude awakening.

For instance, I work with seniors through yearbook and newspaper at my school. We have a plethora of special features in both publications that are directed toward making senior year memorable. Whether it be creating senior tribute ads, gathering quotes and baby photos to accompany their last school portraits, or taking votes for Senior Superlatives, I am constantly working with this group of students. Most of these 17 and 18-year-old kids are great about turning in what is requested in a timely manner. But, there are a few who still live under the constant watch of Helicopter Moms. These are the kids who never meet the deadlines or do anything we request. It is their mothers who 'handle" every detail of their lives. The emails come from mom's email address, the calls to verify schedules come from mom, and not one of the students in this situation have ever had to do anything without the assistance of their constant maternal protector. To be quite honest, a 12th grader is no longer a child. They are either legally an adult, or will be very soon. I think it is time to let go and allow these kids to figure some things out on their own. I really hope I don't fall into this category in 12 years.

Now, let's rewind from the last year of public education to the first. This year is the first time my daughter has been in a "real" school. It has been an adjustment, but she and I have a routine that works for us. Since I am a teacher, she has always understood the importance of school and why it is necessary to go every day and to learn all she can from her teachers. Yes, she has learned to count past 100, to write sentences, and to (almost) read a book. But it is the social interaction that we have both experienced this school year that has provided the most beneficial lessons. She has had to witness some of her closest friends being bullied, which was a shock to her. My daughter is a very tender-hearted child. She has never been exposed to kids who were rude to each other, and it was difficult for her to understand why it was happening. I have tried to make her understand that sometimes people do not act the way we think they should, but we have to try to get along with everyone. As I try to embed this lesson into her impressionable little mind, I think of some of the parents I have encountered this year. I have been on all of the field trips with her class that allowed parents, I have attended all of her awards ceremonies, and I have even eaten cupcakes with the class at holiday parties. The same set of parents are always there; we exchange pleasantries and small talk, then we are on our way. Unfortunately, there are a few parents who want to corner me and use the opportunity to complain about everything: the school, the teacher, the time or date of an event....you name it, they will find a problem with it. After talking with these people, it was subtly revealed that they are upset because they do not have constant control of their child's life anymore. Thus, the Constant Complainers are the early version of the High School Helicopter Moms. I have realized that the best thing for me to do is keep my distance from the CCs. I don't want to become one of them, because even in kindergarten the constant enabling will eventually create lazy 12th graders! Tata for now!