After spending three solid days cooped up in the house with my daughter, my patience was pretty worn. The ice storm that hit on Friday basically kept us from leaving our home Friday afternoon until mid-morning Monday. That is an extremely long period of time to spend in company of just one person. But, I truly believe that she is the only person on Earth that I could have done that with and not have flipped out. We had a great time together. We watched Disney movies and reruns of all of her favorite shows, we played with Barbies, and even had a swimsuit fashion show (with her as the only model). But, when Sunday night finally came and it was time for bed....the party was over.
Sleeping in her own bed has always been a problem for my girl. She is allowed to sleep with me on weekends, but weeknights she has to sleep in her own room. But after almost 72 hours straight without even being in a separate room than me, going to sleep alone was not on her list of things to do. Needless to say, it was a battle. For over an hour, she would play opossum, then "wake up" crying and whining. Honestly, my patience was worn thin, and I just needed a minute to take a shower. So....I caved! I know, I know, I need to "stick to my guns" but I was just completely out of energy and it wasn't worth the battle. I let her watch TV while I took a shower, then let her sleep with me. She was snoozing in two minutes flat.
There are days when I just need my space without her hooked to be like a leach, but last night was not worth it. You have to weigh the consequences of launching into a battle of wills with a five-year-old. Do I stay up half the night trying to get her to sleep alone, lose all of the time I had hoped to spend getting ready for work, and end up showering at midnight, just to prove the point that she needs to do what I say? Or do I let her sleep with me, go to sleep early enough to get rested for school, take my shower early, but still lose the time I needed to prepare for work? I have never been good at being the bad guy when it comes to things like this. Even when she was a baby, I could never just let her "cry it out" and that is probably why she is like she is now about sleep. But, if that is the worst thing I have done is a parent, it is not too bad, right?
This time my decision to chose my battles wisely absolutely worked out. We ended up with a three hour delay today! I got to cuddle with my baby girl before school this morning, and wake up to her trying to sing "Soft Kitty" to her stuffed pink kitten. I think about how quickly these five years have passed, and I wonder: Will she remember me as the strict mother who made her stick to the rules every night, or as the mom who would loosen up and break the rules sometimes? I hope it is the rule breaker mom, because I know I will remember my snuggle bug and her morning time giggles more vividly than all the nights I got to sleep alone. Tata for now!
Monday, January 28, 2013
Friday, January 25, 2013
Why Can't We Just Break Into Song?
I grew up watching Grease over and over, never giving the fact that the characters broke into perfectly choreographed musical numbers, out of the blue, a second thought. I just enjoyed looking at John Travolta, listening to the songs, and wishing I was Sandy. Maybe it was the fantasy of the whole thing...I would never be blonde, never be a cheerleader, or never belt out a song at the top of my lungs. Thus, I was content to live vicariously through the characters on screen. Now, I enjoy Glee for the same reasons. It seems like the characters always have the perfect song to go with the moment, to capture in lyrics what simple words cannot. Sometimes, I wish that it were socially acceptable for everyone to just break into song. I think it would add some comic relief and maybe even some pure entertainment to otherwise mundane tasks. I mean, can you imagine pushing the grocery cart down the cereal aisle, and someone bursting into a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" over the PA system. That would be so amazing! I would go to the grocery store every day, if that happened!
I guess what I am getting at, is that music makes us feel better. It lets us drown out the stress with catchy hooks of Katy Perry songs, cry our eyes out to Adele about "the one that got away", relive high school memories through Sheryl Crow, or wish we had a man like Bruno Mars. Either way, it is cathartic and we all need the release that music gives us. Don't you think our society would be so much more fun if we could sing our conversations? Kind of like the guy on American Idol who stutters when he talks, but sings like an angel. I, for one, cannot carry a tune in a bucket. But, that doesn't stop me from belting it out while I am driving the car every morning. My daughter knows the drill...every morning we drive the fifteen minutes to school and we can get through at least three songs. Whether it is Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga, The Lumineers, Blake Shelton...or more often than not, Justin Beiber, she knows every word, and sings as loud as she can from the back seat. She doesn't judge me for my singing disability, and I don't judge her when she screws up the lyrics. We just enjoy the music and let it relax us for the day ahead. She hasn't developed that self-consciousness that many little girls suffer from, and I hope she doesn't. Maybe one day, she will be your weekly entertainment at the grocery store, or she may still be the one I sing along with every morning, just from the radio! Tata for now!
I guess what I am getting at, is that music makes us feel better. It lets us drown out the stress with catchy hooks of Katy Perry songs, cry our eyes out to Adele about "the one that got away", relive high school memories through Sheryl Crow, or wish we had a man like Bruno Mars. Either way, it is cathartic and we all need the release that music gives us. Don't you think our society would be so much more fun if we could sing our conversations? Kind of like the guy on American Idol who stutters when he talks, but sings like an angel. I, for one, cannot carry a tune in a bucket. But, that doesn't stop me from belting it out while I am driving the car every morning. My daughter knows the drill...every morning we drive the fifteen minutes to school and we can get through at least three songs. Whether it is Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga, The Lumineers, Blake Shelton...or more often than not, Justin Beiber, she knows every word, and sings as loud as she can from the back seat. She doesn't judge me for my singing disability, and I don't judge her when she screws up the lyrics. We just enjoy the music and let it relax us for the day ahead. She hasn't developed that self-consciousness that many little girls suffer from, and I hope she doesn't. Maybe one day, she will be your weekly entertainment at the grocery store, or she may still be the one I sing along with every morning, just from the radio! Tata for now!
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Demanding What You Deserve
Day Three:
So, technically it is day four, but I had zero time yesterday to blog! Sorry! But, I have plenty to say today to make up for it. Today's topic hit me while I was standing in line at Best Buy trying to pick up my laptop that was supposedly fixed. Just when the Geek Squad guy told me "you declined the estimate, so the laptop was not repaired" I thought, "you have to demand what you deserve." Cha-Ching there was my topic!
Ok, let me back up....a few weeks ago the screen on my laptop was shattered. I went to Best Buy, dropped it off to be repaired, and was assured that it would be shipped to my home in 8 to 10 days, at no cost to me. Fast forward to two weeks later...no word from Best Buy, but an email with a tracking number from Geek Squad informed me that it was returned to the store and the repair was complete. Yet when I got there, no repair had occurred. So, I was pretty upset. Obviously. I depend heavily on my computer to do my many jobs, not the least of which is teaching an online course. Thus, I was very inconvenienced. The first "geek" was very rude and condescending to me. He spoke to me as if I couldn't understand what he was saying, simply because I am a woman with a little girl. He even asked me if my husband was around so he could explain it to him! Ha! That was the last straw for me, so I asked to speak to the original "geek" who had done the order. Thankfully, that guy was very helpful and admitted his mistake. He sent it back off, apologized profusely, and spoke to me in a very respectful manner. But, if I had not demanded to speak with the person who knew my case, then I would not have gotten the problem solved. Sometimes you just have to stand up for yourself and demand what you deserve.
As a single woman, I am constantly dealing with people who assume I am an idiot, or that something is wrong with me because I don't have a husband to "take care" of me. Well, I have learned that those people are the idiots, and I don't have to deal with them. I can take care of myself and my daughter, without a man. Yes, I may need a helping hand at times, but in general I am just as capable as any one else. Thus, I have developed the ability to take up for myself, and to demand the same treatment that those of a different gender or situation may get automatically. If you don't look out for yourself, who will? If you don't demand what you deserve, who will? No one! So, take my advice and stand up for yourself. Trust me, it is the only way to get what you deserve!
I'm off to watch American Idol, because after the day I have had I think I deserve some mindless reality television, don't you? Tata for now!
So, technically it is day four, but I had zero time yesterday to blog! Sorry! But, I have plenty to say today to make up for it. Today's topic hit me while I was standing in line at Best Buy trying to pick up my laptop that was supposedly fixed. Just when the Geek Squad guy told me "you declined the estimate, so the laptop was not repaired" I thought, "you have to demand what you deserve." Cha-Ching there was my topic!
Ok, let me back up....a few weeks ago the screen on my laptop was shattered. I went to Best Buy, dropped it off to be repaired, and was assured that it would be shipped to my home in 8 to 10 days, at no cost to me. Fast forward to two weeks later...no word from Best Buy, but an email with a tracking number from Geek Squad informed me that it was returned to the store and the repair was complete. Yet when I got there, no repair had occurred. So, I was pretty upset. Obviously. I depend heavily on my computer to do my many jobs, not the least of which is teaching an online course. Thus, I was very inconvenienced. The first "geek" was very rude and condescending to me. He spoke to me as if I couldn't understand what he was saying, simply because I am a woman with a little girl. He even asked me if my husband was around so he could explain it to him! Ha! That was the last straw for me, so I asked to speak to the original "geek" who had done the order. Thankfully, that guy was very helpful and admitted his mistake. He sent it back off, apologized profusely, and spoke to me in a very respectful manner. But, if I had not demanded to speak with the person who knew my case, then I would not have gotten the problem solved. Sometimes you just have to stand up for yourself and demand what you deserve.
As a single woman, I am constantly dealing with people who assume I am an idiot, or that something is wrong with me because I don't have a husband to "take care" of me. Well, I have learned that those people are the idiots, and I don't have to deal with them. I can take care of myself and my daughter, without a man. Yes, I may need a helping hand at times, but in general I am just as capable as any one else. Thus, I have developed the ability to take up for myself, and to demand the same treatment that those of a different gender or situation may get automatically. If you don't look out for yourself, who will? If you don't demand what you deserve, who will? No one! So, take my advice and stand up for yourself. Trust me, it is the only way to get what you deserve!
I'm off to watch American Idol, because after the day I have had I think I deserve some mindless reality television, don't you? Tata for now!
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Asking for Help: The Only Way to Survive the Crappy Days
Day Two:
I truly hope to use this blog as an outlet to discuss topics relating to being a single mother, usually in a positive tone. But, today may not adhere to that intention, so I will go ahead and apologize now. As some of you know, I am a breast cancer survivor. Next month will be five years since my initial diagnosis, so I have been anxiously awaiting that milestone to finally be considered "cancer-free" when it comes to insurance, etc. So, today I went to have some scans done to verify that status. I don't have any results yet, but that is not really the point of this entry. The point of this entry is that I am stubborn and independent; these things typically serve me well in my daily life, but not today.
I was supposed to have two different scans done today, but they would take a total of four hours to complete. Typically, my daddy goes with me to these appointments, but today he had a ballgame and my mother had my little girl, so I did not want to bother anyone with having to take me. Even though I had three or four friends offer to accompany me today, I turned them all down. I do not like to bother people and make them waste their time because of me, so I decided to go it alone. Be mistake!
Long story short, I had a ton of issues with getting my injections, so I was only able to get one of the scans done. My arm is all bruised up and swollen, and I am absolutely exhausted. I should not have gone alone, I should not have driven home as tired as I was, and I should not have been that upset without someone there with me. But, it is no one's fault but my own. I should have asked for help.
You would think I would have learned my lesson about this by now, but obviously not. So, if you are reading this, please take my advice and ask for help. No matter how great you are at juggling a million tasks, at managing stress, or at being successful in every aspect of your life, there are times when you simply need other people to help you make your life the best it can be. I know as a single mother, I like to do everything myself at my own pace (which is usually 100 mph). But, there are times when I simply cannot do it all. I get exhausted, overwhelmed, or even sick. I am lucky enough to have parents who will help me in any way possible, and friends who are always there for me when I need them. The problem is that no one knows you need help unless you ask for it. Essentially, what I am saying it, don't be stubborn like me! Ask for help before it becomes more than you can handle. As a mother, you need to take care of yourself first. If you are not happy, healthy, and able to deal with stress in your every day life you will not be the best mother or the best person you are capable of being. So, on that note, I will take my own advice and relax in my recliner until my baby girl gets home. Tata for now!
I truly hope to use this blog as an outlet to discuss topics relating to being a single mother, usually in a positive tone. But, today may not adhere to that intention, so I will go ahead and apologize now. As some of you know, I am a breast cancer survivor. Next month will be five years since my initial diagnosis, so I have been anxiously awaiting that milestone to finally be considered "cancer-free" when it comes to insurance, etc. So, today I went to have some scans done to verify that status. I don't have any results yet, but that is not really the point of this entry. The point of this entry is that I am stubborn and independent; these things typically serve me well in my daily life, but not today.
I was supposed to have two different scans done today, but they would take a total of four hours to complete. Typically, my daddy goes with me to these appointments, but today he had a ballgame and my mother had my little girl, so I did not want to bother anyone with having to take me. Even though I had three or four friends offer to accompany me today, I turned them all down. I do not like to bother people and make them waste their time because of me, so I decided to go it alone. Be mistake!
Long story short, I had a ton of issues with getting my injections, so I was only able to get one of the scans done. My arm is all bruised up and swollen, and I am absolutely exhausted. I should not have gone alone, I should not have driven home as tired as I was, and I should not have been that upset without someone there with me. But, it is no one's fault but my own. I should have asked for help.
You would think I would have learned my lesson about this by now, but obviously not. So, if you are reading this, please take my advice and ask for help. No matter how great you are at juggling a million tasks, at managing stress, or at being successful in every aspect of your life, there are times when you simply need other people to help you make your life the best it can be. I know as a single mother, I like to do everything myself at my own pace (which is usually 100 mph). But, there are times when I simply cannot do it all. I get exhausted, overwhelmed, or even sick. I am lucky enough to have parents who will help me in any way possible, and friends who are always there for me when I need them. The problem is that no one knows you need help unless you ask for it. Essentially, what I am saying it, don't be stubborn like me! Ask for help before it becomes more than you can handle. As a mother, you need to take care of yourself first. If you are not happy, healthy, and able to deal with stress in your every day life you will not be the best mother or the best person you are capable of being. So, on that note, I will take my own advice and relax in my recliner until my baby girl gets home. Tata for now!
Monday, January 21, 2013
Silence...what a strange concept!
Day One:
As I start this blog, I am relatively sure that very few people (if any), will actually read it. But, here goes nothing...My name is Brooke. I am a single mom of a kindergartner. It is just us...24/7/365. There are some times when she visits my parents, who live about two hours away, but typically it is just us. Today is one of those rare times when she is gone. So I actually I have the time to start this blog! I consider myself to be a writer and always have, but somewhere in the craziness of my life I have let it fall prey to neglect. Writing has been something I teach others to do, but rarely have time to do myself. I am hoping this blog will change that.
The topic today is...Silence! It is something that I have taken for granted most of my life, but I see now that it is a true luxury that is more precious than diamonds in my daily life. I am a teacher of high school students, so there is absolutely no silence in my work life. My daughter is a chatterbox, so there is rarely a silent moment with her unless she is sleeping. Then, there are my upstairs neighbors, who are the loudest people in the free world. My daughter left yesterday to visit my parents, and I was hoping for some peace and quiet today to finish grading exams, finish Insurgent, and catch up on the How I Met Your Mother episodes on my DVR. So much for that! All day I have had to hear the family upstairs...jumping up and down at 9am, moving chairs (or large furniture...who the heck knows) at 11am, screaming at each other at 2pm, and now as I type this they are stomping around as if they are preparing grapes at a winery with Lucille Ball. They never leave their apartment, especially since both parents are retired and home school their two children. Thus, they are up ALL the time and NEVER leave home. It is the most annoying and frustrating feeling on Earth to want silence so much, yet it is unattainable. Ahhhhh!
That being said, I am so used to constant noise from various sources that complete silence is a bit unnerving. I mean, do we actually ever get silence anymore? We all have the hum of our appliances, the squeak of our recliner as we rock, the fan of the A/C unit, the tap of keys on a laptop....thus, I will stick with my assessment that silence is as precious as diamonds! When you have it, savor every moment.
Well, I still have one more episode of HIMYM in which I am sure at the end of I STILL will not know how said mother was met...pray that the crazies actually go to sleep tonight so I can finish my book! Tata for now!
As I start this blog, I am relatively sure that very few people (if any), will actually read it. But, here goes nothing...My name is Brooke. I am a single mom of a kindergartner. It is just us...24/7/365. There are some times when she visits my parents, who live about two hours away, but typically it is just us. Today is one of those rare times when she is gone. So I actually I have the time to start this blog! I consider myself to be a writer and always have, but somewhere in the craziness of my life I have let it fall prey to neglect. Writing has been something I teach others to do, but rarely have time to do myself. I am hoping this blog will change that.
The topic today is...Silence! It is something that I have taken for granted most of my life, but I see now that it is a true luxury that is more precious than diamonds in my daily life. I am a teacher of high school students, so there is absolutely no silence in my work life. My daughter is a chatterbox, so there is rarely a silent moment with her unless she is sleeping. Then, there are my upstairs neighbors, who are the loudest people in the free world. My daughter left yesterday to visit my parents, and I was hoping for some peace and quiet today to finish grading exams, finish Insurgent, and catch up on the How I Met Your Mother episodes on my DVR. So much for that! All day I have had to hear the family upstairs...jumping up and down at 9am, moving chairs (or large furniture...who the heck knows) at 11am, screaming at each other at 2pm, and now as I type this they are stomping around as if they are preparing grapes at a winery with Lucille Ball. They never leave their apartment, especially since both parents are retired and home school their two children. Thus, they are up ALL the time and NEVER leave home. It is the most annoying and frustrating feeling on Earth to want silence so much, yet it is unattainable. Ahhhhh!
That being said, I am so used to constant noise from various sources that complete silence is a bit unnerving. I mean, do we actually ever get silence anymore? We all have the hum of our appliances, the squeak of our recliner as we rock, the fan of the A/C unit, the tap of keys on a laptop....thus, I will stick with my assessment that silence is as precious as diamonds! When you have it, savor every moment.
Well, I still have one more episode of HIMYM in which I am sure at the end of I STILL will not know how said mother was met...pray that the crazies actually go to sleep tonight so I can finish my book! Tata for now!
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